its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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