saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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