I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize