I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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