Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
