do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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