Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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