I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
