It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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