Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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