Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
