You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
