There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
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Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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