Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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