i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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