dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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