Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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