Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
