therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
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Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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