I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
