My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Pants are for mortals
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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