somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
