Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
