oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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