I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize