Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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