Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
