i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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