I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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