I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
