it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
