I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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