felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
