white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
dude. I can hear the air.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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