Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
