Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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