Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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