I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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