just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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