We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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