yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
