I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My liver just had a heart attack.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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