how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
