do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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