I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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