got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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