I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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