I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
