I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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