we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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