just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize