I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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