You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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