I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
