Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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