my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize