Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
