Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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