ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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