She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
