If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
