note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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