i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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