so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
