As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
