i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Fuck appropriateness.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
