I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
