Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize