I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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