she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
